22" x 30" acrylic paint on canvas panel |
8" x 12" copy of pencil on paper |
There was a fear that I wouldn't be able to duplicate his likeness.
The original was drawn in pencil on 8"x12" paper a little over thirty years ago during a visit to Italy and provided as a gift to Gian Luca's mother (my aunt). Copies were made and given to other aunts and uncles.
The acrylic painting was created a few months later, after the trip. I believe I captured his likeness in both, and also his 'essence'.
He died when he was 20, in a car accident. I'd only met him once when I was 8 during my very first visit to Italy. I remember him but I dare not say I 'knew' him.
I wonder whether we'd be connected today had he been alive. The truth is most likely...not. I mean, I'm not that connected to cousins living there now. I'm under no illusions and don't want to come across as inauthentic. When he died, I'm sure my cousins back home mourned him terribly. I mourned him, as well, but not in the same way.
My sadness and sense of loss here stems from a result of an absence...an absence of possibility or opportunity at what could have been. But even so, it seems so pointless to even contemplate. His death in such a real and obvious way, allowed this moment right here, right now to exist. And, I am grateful for that. He's special and missed not because he died at such a young age but because he'll forever be immortalized. In that sense, he's always right here...unlike the living, who are over there...
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